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Top 5 Injuries
Top Five Injuries
What Is This?
~ meg ~
(in order)
5. sliding down a huge boulder on the way home from grade school and sliding right into a piece of broken glass. highly unpleasant.
4. spraining my ankle running across the street to the corner store to buy a tomato. this was after I'd been careening around the park for an hour on a pair of roller skates. see, the irony was that I didn't sprain the ankle on the skates. see? ironic!
3. the time I tried to do a front flip off the high dive under the mistaken impression that the height alone would allow me to flip successfully. instead I ended up bellyflopping. it makes the list because, while it wasn't a lasting physical injury, it did knock the wind out of me and it was witnessed by the entire summer camp, who were lined up by the pool to watch us older campers dive.
2. my recent sprained ankle from falling off a fence in new jersey. it swelled to the size of a tennis ball and got me my first crutches
1. breaking my finger by getting it caught between a concrete wall and a steel fire door in second grade. It was the end of recess and I was trying to hold said door open with my bony little 8-year-old arm in order to get my lunchbox and run back out to join the line to go back to class. needless to say, my 60lbs. were no match for the steel door and my mom had to be called to take me and my bloody, smashed finger to the emergency room. I believe it was her birthday.
! psychokitty !
(in order)
5. ramming my right toe into a ladder and having part of the toenail come off right before my trip to CA (this year), and as a result I could not wear any shoes besides flip flops and had to limp around for the first three days of my vacation.
4. Having my dog accidentally step on my jaw, resulting in TMJ (she did this when I was trying to get her off the bed, but she slipped and her paw landed on my face).
3. getting part of my ring finger partially sliced (by not sliced off) while opening a can of cat food (i was feeding a stray kitten that i found earlier that morning and then brought to school).
2. 27 stitches on my left arm, when i accidentally ran into the glass door of a wall unit (while playing an indoor game of punchball).
1. getting my thumb caught in a door and having a little internal bleeding, but totally minor. however in a fit of panic, i went to the ER only to have a doctor look at me like i was insane (which I totally was). (i rate this as number one because it was probably the most moronic injury to have gone to the ER for. at the time, I thought it was going to be gangrenous...and this happened just last Friday. man, I am a drama queen w/ no tolerance for pain).
joshmann.blog-city.com
1) "The Volvo Of Death" My bike accident when I was 13 and hit in the leg by a Volvo, which as we all know can take a punch. INJURIES SUSTAINED: Broken fibula, long term stiffness in knee thanks to the cast.
2) "Count it And He's Fouled!" Age 14, and my cousin and I were practicing dunks on one of those 6-foot Sharper Image basketball hoops with the legs on the bottom...on my last attempt, I land on the support and don't get back up. INJURY: Sprained ankle
3) "Dude, You Looked Sooooo Pathetic!": Intermural flag football for my youth group, Grade 12...I was playing Defensive line, when I was trying to get around the tackle, but what I didn't see was the guard pulling around to block me, so I couldn't brace myself. The guy knocks me off my feet and I land back of my head first on the ground..I don't lose consciousness but I'm good and out of it. There are two funny parts: one, the fact that a friend of mine took a picture of me on the sideline with an icepack on my head and the most pathetic look on my face and two, the fact that later that day, I participated in a council oratory contest and won, in spite of the fact that I had to be reminded of winning the next day. INJURY: Concussion
4) "Cue The Superhero Music" This one's my favorite: and this story sounds like a big pile, but I swear that it's true. In the apartment complex I lived in while I was in college, I'm heading to the laundry room when I hear this banging on the elevator door from the inside. The door is stuck and there's an elderly lady in the elevator who can't get out...I try the button first (natch) and then trying to pull it with my hands...failing both of those, I repeatedly shoulder block the door until it opens, letting a very relieved senior citizen out. Of course, starting that night and for the next 3 days hance, I couldn't lift my left arm above my head at ALL. INJURY: One hella big bruise on my collarbone.
5) "Watch That First Step" Age 24, I had to take the Tri-County Commuter Train to Palm Beach, and so I get off the local commuter to make the connection and not watching where I'm going, I walk right into a bench, shin first, opening up a gash the size of a nickel. So instead of doing anything like go to a hospital, I ask the woman at the ticket window for any gauze/tape/anitseptics she has and fix myself up right on the train platform, clean the would and dress it, and display my lack of first aid training by placing the gauze on the wound and wrapping the tape completely around my calf.
INJURY: Eh, just a little blood.