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ten months, circle back
posted Sunday, 2 October 2005
The problem, I told Josh, was that the guys I wanted didn't want me - I wasn't their type. But the guys who want me aren't my type. So there's never any match and it's really frustrating.
"What type are they, and what type do you like?" asked Josh.
"The people who like me are usually passive. Usually at a confused point in their lives, unfocused. Don't know what to do with themselves. I think they see me and see me excited about stuff and are attracted to that."
"Sort of parasitical," said Josh.
"Yes. Really passive and soft and think I'll take them along some place exciting. But the guys I like are active and doing things. Not hard, but strong. And focused. They all had drive, even if they were confused about where they were right now, they knew where they wanted to be. It all boils down to this: the people that like me think I will take care of them. The people I like can take care of themselves. And I hope (though it's never happened) that they will take care of me."
It was January and the snow was falling and things were calm and good and pleasant. There was equilibrium. Except for this one night, the one reminder of the pain and heartbreak and rejection and absence, it was good, happy.
Equilibrium.
We did not know what lay ahead.
"What type are they, and what type do you like?" asked Josh.
"The people who like me are usually passive. Usually at a confused point in their lives, unfocused. Don't know what to do with themselves. I think they see me and see me excited about stuff and are attracted to that."
"Sort of parasitical," said Josh.
"Yes. Really passive and soft and think I'll take them along some place exciting. But the guys I like are active and doing things. Not hard, but strong. And focused. They all had drive, even if they were confused about where they were right now, they knew where they wanted to be. It all boils down to this: the people that like me think I will take care of them. The people I like can take care of themselves. And I hope (though it's never happened) that they will take care of me."
It was January and the snow was falling and things were calm and good and pleasant. There was equilibrium. Except for this one night, the one reminder of the pain and heartbreak and rejection and absence, it was good, happy.
Equilibrium.
We did not know what lay ahead.
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