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reunion fever
the date for my 10 year high school reunion has just been set for this Thanksgiving. being one of those people for whom curiosity is a reason, excuse, and motivating factor, I was all gung-ho to go and find out who had married, divorced, spawned, succeeded, failed, and become an alcoholic. I was not worried about where I fell in the continuum of post-high school success. I never wanted to be a stockbroker or CEO. It was all okay. Even knowing one former friend was in a Jim Carrey movie, there was still no pressure, it was still all Okay.
until, that is, Meg2 googled one of our friends. one of our friends who is now a Billboard-topping composer living the high life in New York with his own production company. It's one thing if people we weren't friends with went on to become CEOs - it's another if a member of our peer group is highly successful and talented at his chosen career. That's my real base line comparison, and now I've got no excuse for being such a waste of space. I'm so demoralized.
"so, what have you been up to?"
"oh, I've been in major motion pictures in hollywood..."
"oh, I'm a billboard-charting composer who owns his own highly successful production studio..."
"oh, I have a house and 2.5 children..."
...
"oh, I've been dragging my feet in new york, drinking, looking for a boyfriend, drinking, watching tv, working on romance novels. as an ASSISTANT."
(incidentally, this is the same friend who I went to the junior semi-formal with, that being the culmination of three years of pining for him in the best tortured-adolescent-cure-listening-black-clad-overwrought-poetry-writing-socially-awkward sense of the word)
so now I have to write a novel and publish it before November 29. great. it's that or get arrested. as long as I'm in the papers...