Today is Talk Like A Pirate Day. This makes me a little melancholy, for reasons best left unexplained. But I hope you enjoy today, and find all the buried treasure you go looking for.
Here is something I wrote in February, appropriate for the occasion.
And here is something else from late last year. Enjoy.
a cutlass and an eyepatch and skulls everywhere
I want to be a pirate every single day. I want to walk into my office brandishing a sword--real or plastic, it doesn't matter--and stomping my boots and interjecting deeply felt Arrrrrr's into all my conversations. I want to carry a bag of booty on the subway and the streets, to guard jealously or share indiscriminately depending on my mercurial pirate mood. I want to use the word "keel-haul," as a threat and a promise. I want to follow ancient yellowed maps to my destinations, destinations which will always be marked by foreboding crossbones and calligraphied warnings. I want to wear a head scarf as red as the hot blood flowing past my bones and an eyepatch as dark as the secrets I keep.
I want to know where all the treasure is buried, everywhere.
And for every day from here on out.
Arrrrrr.