My RSS Feeds
not soon enough
He made you a mix tape
Do you understand?
He made you a mix tape and he put all his favorite songs on it, just for you.
He called you up
On the phone
Even though you gave him your number
And talked to him for two hours before that
And laughed at his jokes
A lot
(And he'd never really considered himself funny
I mean, he's never the comedian of the group)
Even though all of that
It's still entirely possible that the number you gave him was a fake
Or that you just gave it to him so that when he called you could tape-record him trying to be cool and failing so badly,
Stumbling and um-ing and making a fool of himself,
So you could play it later for all your friends and laugh.
You never know.
Girls are a wily lot.
But no!
No, he took the chance and called you up and asked you out, do you understand?
He gave you a birthday gift
He made the card himself (himself! with his own two hands!)
And put a lot of thought into finding it and buying it and wrapping it.
He made the wrapping too, even.
He knew you'd been looking for it, ever since he'd known you
And he wanted it to be a special gift
Something just for you, only from him.
He walked you to the train,
Even though it wasn't really in the direction he was going
And it really wasn't that late
You've walked that way by yourself lots of times before
Much later. Much drunker.
He decided to spend the few bucks and take the train with you
Figuring out a circuitous route where he could transfer and transfer again and finally end up near his neighborhood, long after you got off.
Do you understand?
He didn't have any money really
But he insisted on buying dinner
And then agreed to go to that bar
And that show
And that other bar
And at no time did he try to even so much as hold your hand
And he stayed out three hours longer than he'd planned to
And he went out when he had to work the next day
And he rode an hour and a half just to meet up and an hour and a half back
Half-asleep
He lost his scarf somewhere on the way, which totally sucked 'cause it was only fifteen degrees
He ended up sick the next day, a vicious cold that kept him out of work
And still he was happy he'd seen you.
He said you were beautiful, do you understand?
He said you were beautiful and he was lucky to even be talking to you.
He said you were cool.
He asked if you wanted to go back to his apartment and listen to records.
Do you understand?
He told his friends about you.
He told you he told his friends about you.
He brought you out to meet his friends.
He didn't contextualize you in his introduction
Just gave them your name.
When he introduced them, he said "my friend."
"This is my friend Bill."
"This is my friend Tim."
"This is my friend Joanna."
He stuck by you all night, with no distractingly overt displays of affection
(Do you? Understand?)
But grabbed your hand whenever no one was looking.
He wrote something and you were in it
And it was good.
He knew you'd read it
Probably.
It wasn't a secret
But still
It was like catching someone singing their favorite song when they think they're alone
You were in it and it was good.
He told you about his plans, what he hoped to do
And not in the cocky way he did when you first met
But in a low voice, with lots of question marks at the end of his sentences.
Especially those that weren't questions.
He hardly ever asked to stay over
But he always took your offer, when you offered
(Always, understand? Always.)
And he'd stay just to watch TV or listen to music or cook you dinner
Just that.
He called you his girlfriend
Completely unexpectedly, completely out of the blue
Relating a story about a friend he slipped it in, that word
"Girlfriend"
Like it was no big deal.
When you asked him about it he grinned wide though
And hugged you.
He saw other guys talking to you
Looking at you
And he never acted jealous
He acted like he didn't even care.
Not at all.
Like he hadn't noticed.
But later he'd throw out a comment,
A little one, wry
About something or someone you hadn't noticed him noticing
And the sex that night would be really fantastic
More uninhibited and more engaged.
That, do you understand?
And he got drunk at that party
So drunk he was sick the next day, a day you had so many plans for
Plans you put aside to take care of him
But before that, when he was still happy drunk,
Still giddy and talkative and hunting down more liquor
And you told him you were ready to leave
He didn't notice and kept joking and drinking so you waited, then said it again
You were smiling but he thought he'd done something wrong and stopped and said "Don't be mad."
He said "Don't be mad."
And told you he loved you
And ran to the bathroom and out the door.
DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND?
He made you a mix tape with all his favorite songs.
Just for you.