My RSS Feeds
midnight ghost stories
I was up until 3am last night, insomniac. the can of caffeinated soda I'd had at 10pm didn't help, or the list of things I had to do, productivity I could be achieving if my body didn't insist on eight full hours. but it was more than that. my bed felt huge and empty, and every time I tossed and turned there was more and more room. I missed a boy.
ironically, I'd hated having him in my bed. I'd never slept as badly as I did when he was there. he took the covers and threw his gangly limbs across the mattress length-wise and width-wise. my bed had always been big enough, but now I stayed huddled in the corner, sleeping almost vertically against the wall. and not sleeping soundly either. usually I get used to another body breathing in the room, roommates or visitors or significant others, but months went by and I never got used to him, snoring and pulling covers and getting up again and again. he would wake, then I would wake, and he'd go back to sleep, and I'd fall into a light doze, and I'd get up for work and he'd sleep in 'til noon.
I've missed a boy for awhile now, off and on. or really, I've missed the memory of a boy. months go by and so and so says this person likes you and you hear that an old crush is single again and you catch the eye of a cute young thing at a show, at a club and hand over your number. and none of it comes to fruition. it's all the promise of a possibility with no action or follow-through. it makes you so tired, but still somehow not enough to fall asleep in an empty bed where the ghosts don't take up enough space at all.