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but max said no
a few weeks ago Jay and I were discussing all the ways you can feel warm and fuzzy for a person.
Me: really, the idea of romantic love is so messed up. we always want to be the most passionate, most desired, most unforgettable person that our partner has been with, and there's no way that can be the case. because what sucks us in to passionate, soul-crushing things cannot be sustained. even if a relationship starts like that, all blind intensity and crying at just the thought of losing someone, at some point it has to change, it has to become more about what really makes up you and really makes up the other person. in my experience, with boyfriends and friends and boy friends, this is something many guys have a hard time recognizing. girls grow up on fairy tales, and many reject them when they discover feminism in adolescence. but some guys never do and cling to a starry-eyed ideal of neverending, stomach-clenching intensity. and this is coming from someone who's ideal description of love comes from Where the Wild Things Are, so I don't think I'm being overly practical here.
"Oh please don't go! We'll eat you up we love you so!"
Jay: and this is why I have a cat. because sometimes you just need to take something in your arms and smother it, even if it's squirming and fighting to get away, you just need to love it a little bit more.
cats are much more tolerant of this behavior than boys.